Stop The Blind Eye To Sexual Abuse/Assault by Adaku Quingist
Every year, more than 1000 women are raped, assaulted or abused sexually.
From close experience, I will describe stories of sexual abuse/assault, at the hands of men/women.
This story, you will be surprised will carry traces of sexual advancements, the sweet talking and even the death threats. ‘I will kill you, if anyone hears of this your mother will die, and mostly the fancy enticing gifts,’
As a young girl, I can remember when an any asked me to shave her and after that start touching her clitoris,
oh, what of my cousin brother that will always look for a reason to carry me on his laps, and I will ask him if he had three legs because I couldn’t understand why where I was standing was strong?
Oh, what of a blind wicked uncle that will press the breast in pretense of collecting food from my hand, lol
what do I even know?
In the light of all those events, it is timely to uncover just who a sexual predator is, in both straight and same sex abuse, hence the topic: Stop The Blind Eye To Sexual Abuse/Assault
1. They are very close, yes they are always the ones that people will never ever suspect, mostly family, elders.
2. They wield a lot of control and power, yes, they are mostly more powerful than those they are abusing, so that they can easily bail/bribe themselves out of issues.
3. They don’t stand out from the crowd. What do I mean? They are creepy or lecherous, but without any substantive information, there is no real proof. So, talking about them is useless because no one will believe that such person can do that.
4. They are always buying unsolicited gifts for kids, especially those that are trying to avoid them. Watch out anytime your kids (male/female) starts avoiding anyone
5. They are manipulative, when you want to tell on them, they will lie, twist the information, making youfeel like you are the bad person. After all they have done is spoil the victims with good things. Which will make the victims relent and accept that it was all his/her fault and apologise. This shows the predator that he can control and manipulate without fear of challenge.
6. They are very attentive. Lots of calls and texts which seem quite innocent, if it continues and intensifies then they are worrying signs. This is how they begins to build the process of dependency of the victims. They will be very much the answer to their dreams, a knight in shining armour, and would certainly never hurt them. They are being protected, loved, respected, and are the focus of the predator. This is the beginning of the grooming process. The perpetrator will use their loyalty, and vulnerability against them at a later stage.
7. They play the victim, There is a real sense of behaviour associated with this kind of people. They never take responsibility and they are always playing the victim. They will use control to get the victims to play the deadly game of cat and mouse and will always blame victims for whatever goes wrong
8. They will always look for means to blackmail victims from speaking out, and this is the start of the cruel aspect of the behaviour, where the victim will feel totally humiliated and trapped in the affair.
9. They are good with words, they will always convince people against their victims
What do we do now?
How do we keep our children safe?
Victims of sexual assault/abuse have been emotionally scarred,
lost their sense of identity,
and live with the experience every single day’,
It starts with the cycle of abuse and very quickly becomes a nightmare, from which there is no escape.
In most cases, we don’t believe victims, and this has caused them further distress. Let’s allow voices of victims of sexual assault/abuse to be heard and respected.
Please don’t be afraid to speak up. Seek support,
Talk about it,
It will be difficult as its very personal. But it’s the first step to coming to terms with it and the start of the healing process.