11th things you need to consider before “I DO”

11th things you need to consider before “I DO”

Before you choose a spouse, there are things you must consider to ensure you get the best out of it.

In order of Importance, below is the list of things to consider.

1. CHARACTER
2. DRIVE/GOAL
3. SPIRITUALITY
4. COMPANIONSHIP/COMPATABILITY
5. PROCREATION
6. PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES
7. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
8. SOCIAL LIFESTYLE
9. PAST LIFE RECORDS
10. FINANCIAL STATUS LEVEL
11. CHARACTER

For me, this is most important. In building a home you need a spouse of character. Character is gotten from the formation stage of any human, it has to do with how your would-be spouse was raised. Those values that were inculcated into him/her.

This part determines if he/she will be a wife/husband beater, nag, infidel, reckless spender or irresponsible personality.

The character of the person you marry determines if peace will be in the home, if the children will enjoy good parenting or if the home shall be a “one day, one trouble” situation.

Truly, character is the most important if you must have a successful marriage.

2. DRIVE/GOAL

This sits on the second position in the list of important things to check before choosing a spouse.

You should check what drives the man/woman you want to marry and not what he/she drives. Are your goals compatible.

This consideration determines if you will achieve your life’s ambitions. You don’t need to marry someone who doesn’t see the kind of future you envisage else your marriage will be full of regrets as well.

3. SPIRITUALITY

Some persons will want to situate this at the top spot but no, it is a home you are building and not a church.

Spiritually comes in at no. 3 Position because after checking nos. 1 & 2, you have to realise that life is spiritual. You should marry someone who has the same spiritual inclinations with you. Someone who can join faith with you in prayers always, someone who will inspire you to be strong Spiritually whenever you feel weak.

If you are not spiritual, a lot of evil will befall you but a spiritually wired spouse will help you intercept and reverse those evil projections.

I tell you the truth, you need someone who understands the things of the Spirit and know God personally if you must excel in your marriage.

4. COMPANIONSHIP/COMPATABILITY

When selecting a spouse, you must realise that you need a companion in him/her. Someone who is compactable. You see, it is not easy living with someone who isn’t your blood relative for the rest of your life in the name of marriage hence you should select someone who you ordinarily won’t get tired of seeing.

You must enjoy the person’s company and crave togetherness with him/her always. Someone who sleeps on the same bed with you and probably snores a lot or farts a lot while asleep, you must be willing to make out the best out of the person’s presence at all times.

Here also, you need to understand the temperamental differences of the person, is it what you can live with?

5. PROCREATION

One of the importance of marriage is to raise children. To be honest, any marriage without this is considered incomplete therefore before saying “I Do”, you must consider fertility, number of kids desired and do proper family planning.

A lot of marriages crash because of this but in all, we should remember that God is the ultimate decider. In fact, the Bible say that the fruit of the womb is a reward from God so after doing the necessary tests, you just have to mate and wait for God to perfect things because even artificial insemination fail too.

6. PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES

This is where you say I want a fair spouse or I want him/her short, tall, fat slim, very pretty etc.But mind you, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

Nothing much to say here but let me leave you with this African proverbs.

“A beautiful face without character, the vagina suffers it”.

“He that marries a beautiful woman/handsome man without character is like a farmer who planted corn by a busy walk-way”.

No give yourself HBP where you dey find Miss World oooo

7. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND

You should consider this too before marrying him/her.

I’m not saying that the person must be a graduate or PHD holder but you need to ask yourself if you are willing to marry him/her even if he is a school cert holder or someone who didn’t see the walls of a secondary school even.

The Choice is yours based on your drives.

8. SOCIAL LIFESTYLE

We act and relate differently based on our temperamental dispositions. You should know his/her social inclinations, do you love someone who is everywhere or someone who is reserved? Do you love someone who easily spark up a conversation with anyone or you want someone who hardly talks in the public? Theses are questions you must ask yourself.

This era of social media is bringing a different energy in terms of socialising so you may want to check his/her social media activities to actually know what the person reflects out there.

Do this and thank me later.

9. PAST LIFE RECORDS

There is no future without a past, some persons say that the past is past but I differ from that statement.

The legendary Chinua Achebe said in his book THINGS FALL APART that he who does not know where the rain started beating him from will also not know where it stopped beating him.The past helps us plan the future, we should know what the past looked like to plan a future.

One of the reason why you have to discuss your past is so that your spouse doesn’t discover by himself/herself else his/her reaction will hit differently and harder..

When you are deep into courtship, it is necessary to start revealing them little by little whilst considering appropriate timing.

10. FINANCIAL STATUS LEVEL

Unfortunately, a lot of ladies place this above all others but it is not suppose to be so.

Truth be told, money is important, but if the 9 above are put in place, it is only a matter of time for you to enjoy financial freedom.

However, in all sincerity, you should discuss your present financial status before marriage. It is helpful for proper planning and forecasting.

Do not depise your days of little beginnings, just remain focus and diligent, you will soon see yourself controlling empires of your own.

CONCLUSION

Your view may differ from my, successful marriages don’t have a particular manual, you may also want to see which other thing could work for you, however their are basics we must adhere with.

Marriage is a beautiful thing if gotten right but very calamitious if you go wrong.

Also know that whoever you marry will either make or mar you.

Think about it.

THIS LADY HERE DONATED HER KIDNEY TO HER HUSBAND WHEN DOCTORS CONFIRMED BOTH KIDNEYS WERE ALL DAMAGED

‘IT was not easy, but it was worth it. I reached a point where I started thinking that what if both of us died here in India, who will keep our four children! But I drew my strength in prayer and my favourite verse 1 John 3:16……. I did it for him and the children!’

I thought this was the end of me Seeing my husband Benjamin Mowa and at some point i visualized myself as a widow, i couldn’t handle it so i decided to take the risk

I did it for the love i have for my family and also to fulfill my wedding vows, i thank God it all went successfully, please, help me thank God for saving us